Kindness
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” -Ephesians 4:32 ESV
It started in kindergarten. Daily, the boy next to me would motion like scissors cutting at his tongue, telling me the teachers would cut out my tongue if I talked during nap time. Then there was the first-grade boy who often said mean things to me as our classes lined up to get on the bus home. This day, I could feel the panic when one of the older school bus bullies sat down next to me. By this time, I couldn’t have been more than 8 or 9 years old. My automatic response, learned from prior experience, was to curl up to be as inconspicuous as possible, and pray.
Which, of course, made me stick out even worse.
”Are you praying?”
I can still hear his laughter.
The girls didn’t bully me until middle school. Then it got even worse. As a younger child, I felt like I could expect bullying from the boys. But the girls? Girls were supposed to be my friends. The ones I could go to for safety and support when things like this happened.
Sadly, I’ve also encountered several unkind people throughout my adulthood. What I now understand got me through those tough times, in large part, was my faith.
Living into our spiritual gifts* is part of the solution to the mental health crisis. By loving others (and ourselves) through the way God has created each of us to uniquely serve, we are able to be a catalyst for change. But there is another key component: kindness.
Last week I attended a conference to better enable me to encourage and equip our First Impressions & Hospitality Team. This years theme?
Kindness.
What does it say about the state of our world, our culture, even our churches, that we find the need to center an entire conference around this topic?
To me, it says there’s hope. To me, it says we, as Christians, can be a part of the solution.
You thought I was going to lament on the state of the world, didn’t you? There is absolutely a needed time for healthy lament, which we’ll discuss in an upcoming post with the Health & Wellness Ministry. The grief and sorrow we feel because of this crisis can be used as a catalyst for the change we need to be, but for now, let’s focus on a tool we can use in the here and now.
Kindness is a fruit of the spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). It is the quality of being considerate, friendly and generous, without expecting anything in return. It seeks no agenda, but is a selfless act of love toward another. Being kind is recognizing and affirming the God given dignity and potential in everyone. It seeks the stranger and invites.
Jesus modeled this in John 4, in the longest recorded conversation in the Bible. Jews would typically avoid passing through Samaritan territory in order to avoid associating with Samaritans. Jesus, however, took the direct route through Samaria and met with the woman at the well. He showed her great kindness. He saw her dignity, worth and potential, and rather than condemning her, he was kind and forgiving. His kindness changed her, but the ripple effect went farther and subsequently changed her community.
Not only is kindness beneficial to the recipient, but also to the giver. Neuroscience has found that being kind activates the brain by increasing the levels of serotonin and dopamine, the “feel-good” neurotransmitters. It can also increase endorphins, our body’s natural pain killers. God created us with an internal reward system for being kind to ourselves and others. If kindness can do this for us, just imagine the ripple effect it can have to those we are kind to!
When was someone kind to you? How did that make you feel?
The small stuff matters! Whether it’s a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, or something more, what acts of kindness can you do today?
Heavenly Father, we pray for the mental and spiritual health of your children. We pray for those who have not experienced kindness in their lives. We pray for our hearts, eyes and hands to be opened to the opportunities for kindness you present to us each day. May we see each person through your eyes, as someone who is worthy of your love, recognizing their inherent dignity. May we speak the words and use the body language that begin as seeds of kindness and grow into healing, for others and for ourselves. Work through us to change this world in much need of hope and healing, one kind interaction at a time. We pray in Jesus’ name, amen.
If you’d like to know more about spiritual gifts, and how to discover yours, please reach out. We’d be happy to walk with you through the process. A great place to start is with a Spiritual Gifts Inventory. You can find one here: https://www.umc.org/en/content/exploring-your-spiritual-gifts.
-Laura Greer
Women2Women
Women2Women is a ministry that encourages women to cultivate an intimate relationship with Christ, while also exploring how God has uniquely created, gifted, and called each of us. We connect with women where they are in life’s journey, providing opportunities for spiritual growth, health and wellness, intergenerational fellowship, friendship, and mentoring. Events and retreats are targeted to the needs of women so we can grow deeper in our faith, develop our gifts and abilities, and establish long lasting friendships. For more information contact Laura Greer at (828) 456-3993, ext. 204 or Laura.Greer@LongsChapel.com, or Vickie Staib at (828) 646-8819.
